If you want to join Kansas City Proud Boys, visit our Facebook vetting page and send us a message from your REAL facebook account.
If you find that you have no chapter near you and you’d like to start your own chapter, the rules are very simple. Here are the first four degrees.
You publicly declare you are a Proud Boy. This means you make your Western chauvinism public and you don’t care who knows it. If you support Trump (how can you not if you’re a Proud Boy?) and it comes up in the cafeteria, you proudly state your stance. If that gets you fired, so be it. Our forefathers died in battle to protect our freedoms. The least we can do is be inconvenienced. There is no anonymity in pride.
You must get the crap beaten out of you by at least five guys until you can name five breakfast cereals. If you hammer out, “Chex, Cheerios, Rice Krispies, Corn Flakes, and Special K” in a matter of seconds, you’re free to go. If you get flummoxed by the punches and cannot think straight, well, sorry, you’re going to get pounded.
The other half of the second degree is #NoWanks. This program allows porn only once every 30 days and insists a man can only ejaculate if he is within one yard of a woman with her consent. What started as a dare among Proud Boys has become the core of their existence. It gets young men off the couch and talking to women and it gets married men away from their computers and back into bed with their significant other. (Gay Proud Boys are exempt from #NoWanks because they are doing just fine for intercourse.)
While retaining the principles of the first and second degrees, the third degree involves getting a tattoo that says “Proud Boy.” If someone has a problem with tattoos, branding is permitted.
You can’t plan getting a fourth degree. Its a consolation prize for engaging in a major conflict for the cause. Being arrested is not encouraged, although those who are immediately become fourth degree because the court has registered a major conflict. Serious physical fights also count and it’s up to each chapter to decide how serious the conflict must be to determine a fourth degree.